The Trajectory

In my teenage and young adult years, I didn't see the switch to sustainable energy sources. I saw a continued fossil fuel feeding frenzy. I've called this downward path "The Trajectory" and it hasn't changed. It is still on course. Other than seeing beautiful people at the local level try, I have not witnessed significant changes to tackle our problems. Things have just gotten “worser and worser.” I've been saying all my life, "same old, same old," "par for the course," and "destination on course", and most recently because of Rev. Michael B. Dowd (1958-2023), “of course, of course, of course.” 

My Finnish-American family is at the end of the line. I and my sister do not have children. Our mom is without grandchildren. She understands now. For a time, I was hopeful technology would get us out of this mess, but people didn't seem to think we needed to change. In the 1990s, I read about people not believing the scientific data on global warming/climate change. It became a political ideology and even a religious belief to not believe in the science. With the extreme weather, it is now in our face!

So much is tipping us over the exponential curve of existential threats, such as the broken economic system, addictions and suicides, racism, misogyny, and hate crimes all the while the social engineering machine brainwashes and pushes fear on the public. Earlier in my life I would have embraced AI as our last savior, but it is now in the hands of sadistic oligarchs. It feels as if technology is sealing the deal.

My belief in the demise of Homo sapiens (i.e., Homo Colossus) affected my choices early on. I have lived my life to the fullest. I now do what I think are high integrity choices. I have focused on caring for my parents in their old age and through my father's passing. I am there for my sister and friends. I am my only caregiver and I take that seriously. I left miserable jobs and a miserable marriage. I get up out of bed, rejoice that I have another day of life, and do my best.

Since I've been "seeing" the trajectory throughout my life, I've had an opportunity to slowly absorb this Titanic wreak. I can feel peace, but my feelings of anger and disappointment persist. Thanks to my having the joy of talking with my dad about this predicament, reading scientific papers and books, and using hospice and self-care resources, I have been able to slowly accept this heart-wrenching unfolding, and especially now with Collapse Club. 

To cope, I pray, meditate and exercise daily. Music is a must! I also read, journal, and paint pictures, mostly of nature and the feminine (Patringa, shown above, captures my agonizing pain of a powerless child holding a fragile bird). To stay strong, I eat healthy. I gave up alcohol. I am at peace...but I think I'll be upset about collapse until my dying day as I have been for most of my life. So much wasted sacred beauty, and all for what? At least I've learned what not to do, and I can say that I fully love!